Lessons From Jaime Lynn: Teens Don’t Learn From Mistakes
Submitted by Dr. Gwenn Is In
If you have kids at home, when do you plan on taking with them about “the birds and the bees”? If your plan is to wait until they either ask or are teensagers, you need to hit the drawing board again. That plan just doesn’t work and I have proof: Jaime Lynn Spears. As if getting pregnant at 16 wasn’t bad enough, US News reported this week that the now 17 year old Jaime Lynn is 8 weeks pregnant with her second child.
So, when is the ideal time to talk with kids about sex and sexuality? As soon as they are true tweens, around 8-9 years of age when puberty hits, at least on the inside. As I discussed recently, we can no longer just talk about the nuts and bolts of reproduction without a discussion of the consequences and issues of sexuality. When kids are young, we have to keep those latter discussions very rudimentary and introductory but we should introduce the concepts. The more our children understand that lust is not love but that both can produce a baby, the better protected our children will be from unwanted pregnancies before they are mature enough and financially prepared for the responsibility of raising a baby.
If only have to look at the Gloucester Massachusetts 17 from last summer to know how true this all is. By all reports, those girls were looking for a connection and had poor self-esteems. They didn’t feel they could talk to their parents and many had poor home lives. Feeling loved and creating a life game those girls a sense of purpose but at a very, very huge and life-long price.
Their very public story has prompted a national dialogue on teenage contraception and revisited how we should be discussing sex and sexuality within our own families. This week The Boston Channel reported that the Gloucester School Committee ruled that contraception will be made available in the the Gloucester High School but with a parental opt out option. This seems like an empty victory to many because 65% of students in that high school admit to being sexually active and 49% report not being able to talk openly with their parents about sex. That said, most of the teens surveyed did feel having contraception available in school is a good idea.
If that survey isn’t a wake up call then I don’t know what is! Parents, you can’t control your teens behavior with an “opt out” clause on a form, but you can guide them as they get older with multiple well timed and thoughful conversations and good listenting skills - just be sure you check the judgemental attitude at the door and you’ll do just fine.
