The Scene: Monday night, 9:30 pm, after nearly 4 hours of reminding, suggesting, encouraging, pleading, yelling, and demanding that my 7th grader finish her homework.

Me (yelling up the stairs): L., are you finished with your homework yet?

L.: WHAT????

Me: Your homework.. is it done?

L.: (garbled) (something something something) done.

Me: What?

L.: I SAID (something something something) done.

Me: WHAT? I can’t hear you. I’m coming up.

L.: YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME UP!

I go up. L. is on her bed, painting her nails.

Me: Honey, it’s time for bed.

L.: But I still have to do my math.

Me: What?? I thought you said your homework was done.

L.: No, I said I only have one more thing and then it’s done.

Me: Well it sounded like you said it was done. So if it’s not done, why are you painting your nails?

L.: Because I want them to match my neon green jeans I’m wearing tomorrow.

Me (steam coming out of my ears but trying to be patient): Ok, but you should have done your homework first.

L.: Mom, chill. I’m just taking a break. I only have math left. Everything else is done.

Me: Everything? How many math problems do you have? And did you study for your science test?

L.: 1 thru 33, but they’re easy. And I don’t have to study. I know everything.

Me.: Everything, huh?

L.: You know what I mean!

Me: Ok, your math. Even if each problem takes only two minutes, we’re talking over an hour. Get started! You have to go to bed!

L.: But I can’t get started!

Me: Why not?

L.: My nails are wet!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!